How I Learned To Accept Intrusion As Normal
If you search the word “intrusion” in the dictionary, it comes up with similar words like “trespass,” “encroachment,” and “invasion.” Those words also hit home for me.
When You Open Your Eyes You Realize How Shut They Were
I couldn’t breathe, my stomach sank to the floor, and I didn’t know where to go or what to do. My mom didn’t protect me and I’m certain my brother was oblivious to the entire scene.
I Knew He Loved Me, Although He Couldn’t Say It
Thinking back, I really did know that he loved me – probably more than he was able to deal with. I believe he loved all of us so much that he didn’t know how to handle it, and in turn, express it.
YOU Need to Change So Things Will Get Better
The belief that I had to somehow change, be it within myself or my outside behavior, to make other people happy really taught me that I was not good enough just as I was.
The House of Cards
I sometimes feel that if I actually stood up for myself, even at 8 years old, my family would have cowered. I will never know if that’s true, but it feels like that now. It was like a house of cards that I could have knocked down so easily if I knew my real power.
A Comfortable Hell
I am really no different from anyone with respect to choosing hell over happy. I’ve been doing it for most of my life. The difference is that I am beginning to connect the dots, to see the roadblocks and how to bring them down.